‘Changing your relationship with anxiety.’
Wednesday 30 May 2026 • Written by Anna Webster
Hi. I thought I’d finish this little introductory series of blogs with a part 3 on how to address anxiety. Hopefully you’ve started to give up the fight against anxious thoughts and let go of the negative self-talk. Now here’s another anxiety myth we can put to rest:
‘You can delete anxious thoughts by replacing them with positive ones’
Unfortunately, you can’t. That’s not a thing. Sorry positive affirmations but we are coming for you.
By all means, put post-it notes around your mirror reminding you that you are enough as you are – that’s perfectly true – but it won’t get rid of your anxious thoughts.
You do not have a delete button in your head. Nobody does.
The truth is we can’t unthink our thoughts.
So, instead try…
Proving to yourself that thought-deletion is not a viable option when dealing with anxiety.
Find a willing partner and sit them down in front of you. Now ask them to not – whatever they do – think about a brown bear. To definitely, definitely not think about a brown bear. To think about anything but a brown bear.
Guess what they will be thinking about?
The point is that if we can’t delete a neutral thought suggested by someone else then how much more difficult will it be to delete a distressing thought generated by our own brain’s alarm system?
So what do we do instead? Good question. Well, we don’t try to unthink, replace or push the negative thought away. We just notice it. We observe it, watch it come and go. Because it will pass, they always do.
That negative thought is your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe. Sometimes our brain can act like that relative who has the uncanny ability to give you bad advice (we’ve all got one!). They mean well, they’re trying to help, it’s just not very good advice. Much like with a well-meaning relative, we suggest you thank your brain for trying to help, but tell it you’re going to go a different way this time.
If you’re suffering with anxiety and would like to know more, get in touch at info@forrescounselling.com. We’d love to hear from you.