How well do you know your partner? And why this really matters…

Monday 21 September 2026 • Written by Neil Webster

Well-established research has shown that a couple’s chance of staying together can be predicted soon after they meet.

How?

By the strength of their friendship. Couples who stay together have an abiding positive regard for each other and this is what sees them through the difficult times.

This doesn’t mean that they agree all the time. Far from it. In fact researchers believe that most disagreements between partners are not resolvable. What it does mean is that these couples tend to assume the best in each other and are working from a base line of mutual respect and affection.

Which begs the question – how do we future-proof our friendship?

By getting to know each better. Become curious like you were at the start of your relationship. Good friendships are based on detail – what has your partner found sad today? What have they found funny? What is stressful for them right now? What have they been proud of this week?

You could even go a step further. Make up an ‘how well do we know each other?’ quiz. The point is not to do better than your partner but to increase each other’s scores. Sample questions might include:

What attribute do I most value in others?

What scares me most?

Who is my favourite member of our extended family?

What was the saddest thing that happened to me as a child?

What do I keep hidden from other people?

What dreams do I have for the future?

If I could make one change to my working life, what would it be?

For a deeper dive into this subject, why not give the Forres Counselling podcast a listen? 

If you want to find out more about our counselling services for couples and individuals, email info@forrescounselling.com.

We’d love to hear from you.