Are you a perfectionist?

Monday 25 August 2026 • Written by Anna Webster

Client’s often tell me that they are ‘perfectionists’ and that this perfectionism index leaves them feeling like constant failures.

This is hardly surprising when what we mean by perfection is usually 100 per cent effort or performance. It’s a pretty narrow margin to work in.

What if, instead, we could all learn to be ‘good enough’?

When I introduce this idea to clients they will usually tell me that ‘good enough’ is quite a broad band – maybe 60-70 per cent effort or performance.

Next I invite them to consider the contentment index. What if this is, in fact, inversely proportional to the perfectionism index? The more you measure yourself against perfection, the more you fall short, the more miserable you feel.

With this in mind they might change that ‘good enough’ boundary again to 50 per cent effort or performance – maybe even lower.

There’s a lot of good psychological research backing up the idea this perfection isn’t helpful. Studies on parental interactions with children, for example, indicate that a significant proportion of our attempts at effective communication fail.

But guess what? It doesn’t matter.

The important thing, say the researchers, is a parent’s ability to make a repair when things have gone wrong. So contented kids don’t have parents who get it all right – they have parents who can reach out and connect when it goes wrong.

What does ‘good enough’ look like for you? Is there somewhere in your life where you’ve fallen into the perfectionism trap and could ease up a bit? What does that relaxation of the boundaries do to your levels of contentment?

I was just about to review this blog before posting it but – do you know what? – I think it’s good enough.

For a deeper dive into this subject, why not give the Forres Counselling podcast a listen? 

If you want to find out more about our counselling services for couples and individuals, email info@forrescounselling.com.

We’d love to hear from you.